What To Do When I'm Overwhelmed?
This is a blog post I had written notes for back in January. And it sat in my notes app. When I was thinking about my next blog post this literally jumped out at me. I feel like we need these reminders more now than ever.
Yes, we are at home. Yes, a lot of life has been canceled. But I am talking to so many people who are in a season of overwhelm. This feeling doesn’t always make sense. Sometimes it hits me when life seems really good. So we all hit this wall at some point. What do we do?
I would like to share 4 things with you that have helped me immensely when overwhelm enters my world.
PRIORITIZE - We can feel like the world is crashing down on us and our to-do list is more than any one person can ever accomplish. This activity I’m about to ask you to do usually spikes my anxiety when I’m in a crazy season. But please, just take a few minutes and do it. You will feel so much better. Grab a pen and paper and do a brain dump. Write down each and every task you can think of that needs accomplishing. Write it all down - everything from the big work project to the door handle on the bathroom that’s driving you nuts and needs replacing.
Once you have it all written down it’s time to decide what is really important for this season. Strike anything from the list that isn’t a priority, anything that can wait. If you would like, create a separate list of “things I would LIKE to get done.” This is very different from the “things that MUST get done” list.
Now, prioritize. Assign a number to each item. What is the most important? What is time-sensitive? For each day this week give yourself only 3 tasks. Each day needs ONLY THREE tasks. Do not overwhelm your overwhelm by thinking you can do it all. If you have a 1 to 2 hour meeting on Monday, that is one of your BIG 3. If you have an appointment, that’s a BIG 3. If your homeschooled child has a big project to turn in and will need your help, that’s a BIG 3 item.GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA - Yes, I depend on social media to get the word out about my blog and YouTube channel. But there are days when I have to shut off the noise. If you haven’t read “Digital Minimalism” by Cal Newport (you can grab a copy HERE), I highly recommend it. It is quite eye-opening about how the noise from our phones, social media specifically, has really contributed to the rise of anxiety in our culture. Pay attention to your body. I know this to be true for myself and MANY people I have talked to. Anxiety can increase with a constant diet of digital noise. Shut it off. You won’t miss much and you can catch up later.
GET HELP - Look back at that list you made and find 3 things that someone can help you with. Do you have to make a flyer for an event and it’s not your thing? Ask a friend who enjoys dabbling in graphic design. I promise that people love helping others. Asking for help is not easy for me, but when I do it is often that the person responds with “Thank you for letting me help you!” Get help! Express to your spouse that you are feeling overwhelmed and need some help. Order pizza and put your chicken back in the freezer. Get help!
CHANGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS - I have discovered that my desired end result for just about everything is perfection. It can be a great quality of mine, but it can also be not so great. Many times, done is enough. Completed is better than perfection. Walk away from that graphic you are creating or paper you are submitting. Your kid’s party does not need to be featured on Pinterest. They won’t remember the balloon arch, only the memories you create by being there for them. Dinner doesn’t have to be a gourmet meal every night. A roast and veggies in the crockpot is the perfect meal for your family. (And delivered pizza is even better on some evenings.) An extra hour of sleep before midnight will reap dividends. While I shout from the rooftops that my evening routine keeps me sane - and I 100% believe that - there are times that I am exhausted and know that I must go to bed and leave things undone. Exhaustion can lead to sickness, and no one has time for that! So be ok with done, even if it isn’t perfect.
Now, here are a few bonus things that may seem counterintuitive. “So I’m telling you I’m overwhelmed and you’re telling me to quickly go do these extra 3 things I don’t have time for??” Yep. These are MY three. You might find something else. But when life feels out of control I like to quickly harness some order and then I feel like I can put on my cape and say, “Ok. Let’s do this.”
My purse. I hate digging for the card I didn’t put back in my wallet. So I like to take 3 minutes and dump my purse out on the table. There is always a mad dash from the kids for the gum and random change that falls out. Toss the trash. Make sure the things are in the right place. Stick the receipts in my inbox. Take a breath. Doesn’t that feel better?
My car. I only have 2 kids. But somehow they get in the car and it’s like they’ve hidden trash in their pockets. Where does this stuff even come from? And yes, I say “ok, grab your stuff and trash” when we arrive at home. But wow. It can get crazy. I enlist the teen’s help for this one. I grab 2 bags - 1 for trash and 1 for the randomness that is not trash. We do a quick sweep of the things and then I do a quick vacuum if I have time. Starting to feel a lot better!
My kitchen/living room. When I walk in from my garage (the only door I typically enter my house from), the kitchen and living room are what I see. If it’s a mess, I feel like a mess. A 5 minute (family involved) pickup makes me feel 10x better.
So what do you do when you’re overwhelmed? If you’re like me, I quickly do the 3 bonus things I listed. The quick physical movement gets me up and ready to start with #1 PRIORITIZE. These simple steps will help you to move forward in your crazy season. Usually, the list isn’t as bad as we make it out to be in our minds. But we feel how we feel.
I know this season is so taxing on so many. But you can and WILL make it. I have faith in you! Drop a comment on what you would like to hear from me during this time. How can I help you? And if you aren’t already, join us over on Instagram where we talk daily on projects or ways to give margin to our lives.