Minimalism Q&A: Kids Edition Part 1

Wow! When I asked this question you guys really came through! Lots and lots of questions on kids and minimalism. I moved all the questions on kids’ clothing to a new video and blog post for next month. If you have a question that is not asked here, be sure to post it below and I will add it to Part 2! Let’s get started!

1. How to help you kids get rid of things and not keep everything? (This question was asked in many different forms!)
   Kids will follow our leading more than we realize. Be an example and know they will get this eventually. Every child has a different personality. I have one kid that gets rid of things easily and one who feels sentimental about it all.
   For young kids I find it best to focus on what you are keeping. I pick 2 things - I am usually strategic about choosing something I know they really like and something I know needs to go. I ask them which they want to keep. We have already talked about how we donate toys we no longer use so someone else can use them. With the child focusing on what they are keeping, it moves the focus away from what they are giving up.
   

2. Where to start with a kids room? What is your process to thin out toys? I need to, but they have so many it’s overwhelming. (Again - another question asked many times in many ways.)
   I recommend pulling it all out. All of the toys from all over the house. This may seem overwhelming, but it allows you to see what you have. You can truly see how many toys your child has and begin to see what categories they are in.

   Next you want to choose exactly where you are going to store toys. We utilize baskets. I have a few in her room and a few downstairs in a closet. Some things she mostly plays with in her room and some downstairs. Choosing exactly where you are storing the toys helps you to not only contain them, but it gives you a guide on how much to keep. Talk with your child about how much more enjoyable it is to play in a neat space. They totally get this, even at a young age! So we are only going to keep our favorite things that fit in these spaces, that way we have room for new things (coming at Christmas or birthday) and we have room to play!
   That leads into the next question….

3. My kids are sentimental with stuffed animals. It’s been extreme tears.
   I can totally relate. My daughter loves each stuffed animal deeply. She remembers who gave her each animal and when. First of all, I have realized that I can feel a little attached to some that were given to her by someone special. When we were doing the “choose 2” technique recently she wanted to keep something that had no sentimental value to me and toss a doll I felt was a little special. But if I ask her to hang on to something that I think is important, not what she thinks is important… yep. I’m just unraveling what I’m trying to teach her. The whole concept of minimalism is keeping only what is useful and important. We have to let our kids make those decisions sometimes (even if we think differently.) Now, you have 2 choices - You can let the toy be donated or if it’s something that is truly sentimental, you can move it to the sentimental box in your storage. Be careful to not let everything be sentimental. We know that this little girl is our grand finale - no more babies are coming into our family. I have definitely seen how this knowledge makes me want to hang on to some things more than I did with my son.
   Be patient with your kids. My youngest has to really process letting things go, but these principles are sinking in.

   Another important thing to note is we have one basket for stuffed animals. They can’t take up any more space than that. It’s just a fact and she is aware of it. Creating zones that things go in is a big step in containing and keeping toys minimized.

4. What about old trophies/awards? I enjoy them, but there’s a lot.
   This is also a question I get a lot. I did an entire video on how we deal with this HERE.
   A great tip is: If everything is important, nothing is important. My son had a ton of trophies. It seems like they hand them out for everything these days. I have plenty of photos commemorating the events that he received these at. I asked him to choose what was important to him. He has one shelf in his bedroom to display these. I let him choose which to keep on this shelf. This way he can choose what is important to him.
   

5. How do you get rid of toys without just taking them?
   I really try to not do this very much. I remind myself that my job as a parent is to train my kids to have their own disciplines. I try to purge their toys WITH them. However, I am the parent and sometimes I see an area that is getting out of control and I need to address it myself. For example, my daughter loves all things paper. She writes on anything we let her and then keeps all the scraps in her backpack or her drawer. I will occasionally clean this out and the only thing she says is - oh wow! This is clean! So far so good!

   Another tip I have recently started is “the basket.” This is a basket I keep completely out of her reach in the top of her closet. If I notice some little junk toys she never plays with, but yet they are left out on the floor because she dumped the basket out and grabbed what she wanted, I will add them to this basket. Every few months I look through this and toss or donate it’s contents. If she asks for it before that happens, I “find” it for her.

6. Toys from grandparents? How to minimize without offense?
   In my opinion, when things enter your house they are yours and yours alone to deal with. I did an entire video on Christmas gift and kids (HERE) because it’s such a huge question I get often. If only everyone saw the private messages I receive about dealing with this! Here is the thing. For many people, gifting is a love language. They truly enjoy it. I share tips in that video on how we can make recommendations and help manage the gifts. In certain situations I do understand that it can be out of control and at that point a conversation needs to take place. The number one thing is to be respectful and remember they are coming from a place of love. Both sets of grandparents love my kids so much and they also know that we have embraced the concepts of minimalism in our home. I think that is is the rare circumstance that won’t understand that you are trying to create a culture for your children to enjoy time and experiences with people rather than things. Come to the conversation with that viewpoint and it should go really well.

Many of you have probably hear me say over and over again - my 2nd child was the catalyst to push me into minimalism. Kids have SO many things. It just somehow appears! I believe that these concepts can help you keep them at bay. If you want to see another post I did on kids you can check that out HERE.

Mama and Daddy, you are doing a great job raising your kids! We are teaching our kids to value what’s truly important so they will have margin for goodness.