Minimalism Q&A Part 1
A few weeks ago I opened up a question box on social media for your questions on minimalism. I have loved answering these and I am already working on part 2 on this series. I tried to be brief in my answers. Tried. :)
What motivated you to go minimalist?
Great question! It’s hard to think back to when this all started. I have never been one to hoard things or even struggle with keeping things. However, things just accumulate. We had traveled for 7 years and then moved out of our very small storage unit into a nice sized house and so we had so much room. Until we didn’t. I really begin to notice it about 3 years ago. My daughter was about 1 and she literally pulled everything out of any toy basket as soon as she could walk. I begin to realize how much time I spent cleaning and picking up. So I had two options. 1 - Give up and live in mess - which I think would cause my anxiety level to skyrocket. Or 2 - Get rid of all the unnecessary. I truly didn’t think we had that much extra. I had already been asked if I was a minimalist before I even knew what it was. But wow - when I started taking a hard look at every single item in my house - I quickly realized we were living with so much that was not benefiting our life. I never want to go back. I love the freedom of being able to quickly clean any room.
What room is the easiest/best/most important room to start minimizing?
Where you spend the most time. For some, that might be their bedroom and closet. For many, it’s the kitchen/living area. I do not recommend starting with an attic or a room you never go in. Start where you live. Start where it will make immediate impact. If you can, take an entire day. Clear a Saturday and claim the day for pulling everything out of the closet or cabinets. EVERYTHING. It is going to take longer than you think. I promise. Get help. Get your best friend, sister, or mom to come over. Now - do NOT pick someone who will enable you to keep things. Ask that friend that will encourage you to get rid of things. Actually getting the things you are parting with OUT of your house immediately is super important. This brings us to the next question.
My biggest struggle is actually getting rid of the stuff once I’ve identified what I’m getting rid of. Should I trash it, recycle it, sell it, or donate it? And if you decide to sell/donate, what places have you had success with for getting rid of items quickly?
(I received this same question in various forms, several times) Getting rid of your items immediately is of utmost importance. 1. You can enjoy your work immediately. You can’t enjoy your fresh clean space if you have 10 garbage bags right outside the door. 2. If it’s gone you can’t change your mind - or what is more likely to happen - your kids can’t go through the bags and claim things for their own. You have to first let go of the guilt that you paid your hard earned money for these things and you might not have ever used them. What is done is done. Move on and learn from it. This will get easier with time. I always say that decluttering and donating is like a muscle, keep working it out and it gets easier and easier! You determine how much time you want to spend with selling things. If you have a lot to get rid of, I recommend a garage sale with a definite donation pick up immediately afterwards. Make a hard and fast rule that nothing can come back into your house. However, this is still a lot of work. If you do not need the money, I highly recommend donating everything. The last few times I got rid of clothes I found someone that size and just blessed them with a basket full. I have had success with facebook marketplace. But sometimes this can take a little while. When I did my first big kitchen purge I did not sell anything. Instead, I sent some photos to friends and whoever could come pick it up first could have it. Otherwise, I dropped it a local donation center. I can’t emphasize enough that it is so important for you to get these things out of your house immediately. Fill up the back of your car and take a load to a donation center the same day if it all possible.
How do you get your child to agree to let go of toys. my child wants to hoard everything she has ever owned. She’s really sentimental. Do I usually purge while she’s not there?
Both of my kids are very different. One gets rid of things easily. The other holds sentimental value to a piece of paper torn from a notebook. The biggest thing you can do for your kids is to show them how great it is to get rid of things. Speak of minimalism and freedom from clutter in a positive way. Make it exciting. Clean with them. Make them a part of the purging experience. With my 4 year old daughter I ask her to pick her very favorite of the category we are in. “Elsie, which stuffed animal is your very favorite? Which do you not play with and we can give to another boy or girl?” Sometimes this works great, sometimes it doesn’t. Another tip is to ask them to pick their favorite from just 2 items. Focusing on the one they are keeping rather than what they are getting rid of. I do not recommend getting rid of their toys when they are not present if they are old enough to notice. This can turn into resentment and actually push them towards hoarding and holding on to things. So even though she is 4, I include her in the process. Now… about 2 times a year she stays with grandparents a night or 2 and I take this opportunity to do what I call a “mama clean.” I do this in my 13 year olds room too. I deep clean the room and toss out trash. Nothing that is important to them, but things that must go. They are both so happy with the results. She has an art drawer that ends up with a lot of torn paper and broken crayons in it. We hang her favorite drawings, but while she is not home I often clean that drawer up and throw away the used coloring books and broken art supplies. It’s then back to being super tidy and she doesn’t notice the missing broken things. But start young with your kids. I started really entering my minimalism journey when my son was about 10 and without me asking, he brought me a basket of toys he no longer wanted. He was ready just by watching me. We have to let them keep things we think are not important, because we are teaching them to keep only what is important to them. So it’s a fine line. But I think the more you can involved them, the better for your home and their future home.
How do you assess what stays and what goes as far as toys?
This is very similar to the above question. If your child is really small, decide a few categories of toys that your child plays with. Currently we have Little People, Blocks, Puzzles, and a basket of her little bags and purses in her downstairs toy closet. These are each in their own basket. Upstairs in her room she has a basket of dress up clothes, doll things, and a doctor kit. When I’m going through things I keep these things to a minimal and try to stick in the categories that she is interested in. If kids have too many toys and too much to choose from they get overwhelmed and will not really play with anything. If you are having trouble parting with some things, put some things up for later. But toys are usually one of the big areas we can all purge and see an instant difference. It’s easy to clean up. Even if she pulls everything out of the closet by the living room, I can still clean it up in less than 5 minutes. And it’s not overwhelming for her. Toys can multiply. So we can’t stop there - we have to keep too much from continuing to come in the house. But that’s another subject. :)
This concludes part 1. I have quite a few more questions and will be filming part 2 soon. If you have a question that has not been answered here please ask me in the comments and it can be added to another of these Q&A videos!